Adventures at the B-M-V!

Hi kids, today’s word is … Bureaucracy ! Why? Allow me to explain...

Today, I took off early from work in order to run a few errands before the Jul 4th holiday. One of my stops was at the Ohio B-M-V. They claim the “B” stands for “BUREAU” of Motor Vehicles, but I think it really stands for “BUREAUCRACY” of Motor Vehicles.

Upon arrival, I noticed a building with 2 rooms--side by side--one room on the left, the other on the right. I chose the room on the right and walked in. I was greeted by friendly lady #1 - to which I explained that I had recently moved to Ohio and I would like to get an Ohio vehicle tag. She explained that before I could get a tag, I would first have to have my vehicle “inspected”. “You must go to the room on the left for that” she said. I thanked her and went on my way.

Walking into the room on the left, I noticed several people in a waiting area and a “Take A Number” machine. I pulled my number, and sat down to wait my turn.

After a short wait (about 10 min), I was called to the counter by friendly lady #2. I explained to her that I would like to have my vehicle inspected in order to get my car tag. Now, getting my vehicle “inspected” required me to give friendly lady #2 my name and address, pay $3.50, and then have her follow me to my car so she could write down my VIN number and mileage. She handed me a piece of paper with this information and told to take my “inspection” to the room on the right.

I went back to the room on the right, with my “inspection” in hand, where I was greeted by friendly lady #3. I asked her if I could get a tag. Nope, not yet! Now, I must get an Ohio “Title” for my vehicle. In order to get an Ohio title, I needed to give friendly lady #3 my Georgia title (so she could copy the information off of it) and $7.50. She printed out a fresh ”Ohio” title and kept my Georgia title “for record”. “Now, she said, "take your “inspection” and “title” to the room on the left to get your tag.”

Okay, back to the room on the left-- pull another number, wait my turn…. I know this drill.

After another short wait (about 10-15 min) I was called to the counter by friendly lady #4. “I would like to get a vehicle tag-- I have my “inspection” and “title” I said proudly. “Sure, no problem, we’ll just need your current driver license and SS card. “Okay, here you go…” “Oh! You have a Georgia DL!” friendly lady #4 exclaimed. “Is that a problem?” I inquired. Friendly lady #4 explained that she “could” issue me a tag using my GA DL, but if I was to get pulled over, I would be ticketed for having an OH tag and GA DL. Okay, that would be bad, “what do I need to do to get an Ohio DL” I asked? Well, according to friendly lady #4, I would first have to take the Ohio drivers test - and that's only given in the XENIA, HUBER HEIGHTS, or LEBANON B-M-V office!!! Oh, good grief!

At this point I decided that I would just take my chances-- get the tag and keep the GA DL(for now)! “Can I get a Share The Road tag?” I asked. "Well, yes" #4 said, "but it will only be good until your Birthday." What!!! My birthday is in 20 days, why would..… “Oops, no, wait, the computer says it will be good until 2008”. "Just fill out this form, give us $88.00 and we’ll mail you your STR tag within 14 days." I was then given a cardboard ”Temporary Tag” to put into my back window "as of tonight!".

So to recap, I got to meet four friendly ladies, who managed to take grand total of $99.00 from me and give me an "Inspection" (ie: a piece of paper containing information that I already knew), a "New Ohio Title" (a duplicate of the Georgia title), and a cardboard tag (for a back window that is too small to display it).

So, I guess this weekend I’ll be off to the XENIA B-M-V to try and get an Ohio DL... Oh boy, I can hardly wait!